Holding Confidences Holds Trust

Holding Confidences Holds Trust

The Navy is sometimes strange in the fact that you cannot, with few exceptions, expect what you say to other service members to be held in confidence. By UCMJ (Uniform Code of Military Justice), a service member can be compelled to tell what they know, especially if they are a witness. Yes, yes a little different than civilian courts. An understanding of this reality helps you understand the challenge of being vulnerable with other service members.
I was the assistant operations officer (AOPS) while in my tour. I shared an office with the flight schedule writer (SKEDS for short). As AOPS, I reviewed the daily flight schedule SKEDS produced each day. We had a lot of banter back and forth to make things work. The banter leads to other topics, some relating to work, others more personal. In one case, SKEDS confided in me some of the trauma he experienced as a child and how it was impacting him as a husband. I listened. Having lived with childhood trauma myself and rarely talking about it, I understood how hard it was for him to say anything.
I never talked to anyone, at the command or friends, about his situation. He made a very hard decision to put himself and his family before the Navy. I was sad and proud. I admired his courage and knew I would miss seeing him and sharing in the banter. Before he left, he thanked me for listening and being a sounding board. From the tone in his voice, I knew I had earned his trust.


Shaun McAndrew

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